


Big Words

by arianapeterson19



Series: Avengers Shorts [68]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Couch Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Protective Phil Coulson, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-10-12 17:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10496097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19
Summary: "I made you breakfast," said Tony. "I know it's just cereal but it's the only thing I can't burn."ORThe one where Tony breaks hard news with breakfast.





	1. Soggy Cereal

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a doctor, I'm just using my own knowledge/experience to write this.

Tony stood next to the bed, shifting from foot to foot, chewing on his lower lip in that nervous habit he only let show at home, while he waited for his partner to wake up. It occurred to the genius that he was reaching a new level of creepiness, just staring at his sleeping partner without saying a word, but he just couldn’t bring himself to wake him up – that would spoil the illusion of calm and make him have conversations he had avoided for as long as possible. Because as soon as he opened his eyes, Phil would know something was wrong because Tony had made breakfast and he only did that when he had something he perceived as bad to tell the man.

Phil blinked his eyes open, already aware that someone was watching him but feeling no malice from them, so he had assumed it was one of his family. When his eyes focused he saw that his suspicions were confirmed, it was his significant other, standing next to the bed, staring at him behind a tray of food.

“I made you breakfast,” stated Tony before Phil could say anything. “I know it’s just cereal, but it’s the only thing I can’t burn.”

“Thank you,” said Phil, sitting up with a yawn and scooting back to lean against his pillows.

Tony set the tray on his partner’s lap before perching on the edge of the bed so that he was mostly off the bed but still touching it. Phil reached out and tugged Tony’s lip from his teeth before handing his love what he assumed was his cup of coffee since there were two on the tray.

“So are you going to tell me what’s going on or am I going to have to ask?” asked Phil after he had finished his cereal – which had been soggy, probably because his genius had stood there so long waiting on him to wake up. Phil really needed to come up with a system with JARVIS to alert him when Tony was making him breakfast.

“I have a doctor’s appointment today,” said Tony.

“Oh?”

Phil ran through the list in his mind of why Tony would have a doctor’s appointment. The genius had been feeling tired and had gotten out of breath doing the most simple of things recently, but Tony had gone to the doctor for that less than a week ago. Perhaps it was a follow up exam?

“Yup,” said Tony, popping the p at the end of the word. “And it’s going to take a while. Like, a couple hours.”

“And are you asking me to accompany you?” asked Phil. It wasn’t unheard of – it was actually the norm for someone to go with Tony to his doctors appointments because the genius did not like them.

“No – yes – I don’t know,” sighed Tony, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess. It’s just, I should have told you before when I found out but I didn’t because I thought it would go away or something but that’s not how this works and –“

“Slow down,” said Phil setting the tray aside and pulling Tony into his arms, making the genius rest against his chest. “It’s okay, just tell me now.”

“My blood count was abnormal when I went to the doctor,” said Tony, speaking softly into Phil’s chest. “So they ran some more tests and ended up doing both a Lumbar Puncture and a CT Scan. Turns out I have Acute Myeloid Leukemia.”

Whatever Tony was about to tell him, Phil had not been expecting it to be that. Anemia had been his first guess, possibly mono, but not cancer.

“So I met with an oncologist,” continued Tony in a quiet rush. “She’s fantastic, you’d like her. She doesn’t take any of my shit and is great at her job. The best. Of course she’s the best, I wouldn’t go to anyone else. And today I’m starting chemo. I think she said it was high dose chemo but I’m a little foggy on the details, it was kinda an intense day. It should help – the lady said we caught it early on.”

“Cancer?” said Phil, his brain just starting to catch up.

“Yeah.”

“What stage?”

“Um, I don’t know, I don’t think they do stages for acute myeloid leukemia. Of if they do I tuned that part out. Like I said, they caught it early I guess, which is a good thing because it turns out this is a faster progressing cancer so we want to avoid that as much as possible.”

“Tony, why didn’t you tell me?” asked Phil, not accusing, but still stunned. “This is big. You didn’t have to deal with it on your own.”

“I couldn’t tell you,” whispered Tony. “It would have made it too real and I hadn’t even processed what was happening.”

Phil nodded and kissed Tony’s thick hair before moving to get up, dragging his love with him.

“Well, let’s get ready for a nice long day at the doctors,” said Phil. “You put on something comfortable and I’ll make a few calls to clear my schedule.”

“It’s really okay,” said Tony though his tone indicated that it was anything but okay. “I know you’re busy with meetings and things. I can go alone or get one of the others to join me.”

“No,” said Phil sternly. “I’m going with you. Do you honestly think I could focus on anything knowing that you’re in medical – which you hate – and going through this without me? No, Fury would kick me out in five minutes. Now change, I’ll call and make sure Fury knows I won’t be coming in today.”

Tony nodded numbly, still a bit too shell-shocked to put up a proper fight. Besides, he didn’t want to fight it, he wanted Phil to be there. He needed someone there with him, even if it was just to witness him going through it; he needed to know that someone else in the world knew he existed as he began the fight for his life in a civil war against his own body.


	2. Hair

The hospital smelled like sadness and medicine and that weird disinfectant that seemed to infect every doctors office and hospital ever. Tony hated it. With a passion.

“Do you think they have a factory that manufactures this smell and then sells it to all of the doctors and nurses?” asked Tony, sitting on the bed, tapping his fingers on his thigh.

“Probably,” said Phil, holding the hand that was attached to the arm that was busy having chemicals injected into it to try and kill off all the cancer cells – and probably healthy cells as well.

“So I’m probably going to lose my hair,” said Tony suddenly, turning his head to look at Phil.

“That can be a side effect of these life saving drugs,” said Phil slowly, not positive where Tony was going with that line of thought.

“So I think we should break up,” said Tony.

“Why?” asked Phil evenly.

“This whole cancer thing is going to really cut into our time together,” said Tony. “And you deserve someone whole and not bald. You and Clint will be very happy together, I mean, you were before I came around and I’m sure you will be after. So yeah, it’s been fun but it’s over now. I can tell Clint when he gets back from his mission in Europe or you can tell him yourself. Your call.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” said Clint, who was leaning against the doorframe, wearing SHIELD sweats, hair a wet mess from the shower he must have taken on the flight home.

Tony blinked owlishly at the door, not positive he was truly seeing the archer who was supposed to be on a mission. It was a secret mission and Tony hadn’t been able to get in contact with him; Phil had magic – it was the only explanation on why Clint was home early.

“What?” said Tony eloquently.

“We’re not breaking up,” said Phil kindly. 

“Yup,” agreed Clint, hopping onto the bed with Tony. “We’re in this for the long haul. Deal with it.”

“But-“

“Babe, it’s not up for discussion,” said Clint. “However, what is up for discussion is how you waited an entire week to tell Phil you have cancer.”

“Not an entire week,” mumbled Tony, leaning his head against Clint’s shoulder.

“It would have been if this appointment had been a week after the first one,” said Clint, kissing Tony’s messy locks, wrapping an arm around Tony’s shoulder’s.

“I can’t ask you to spend your time hanging out in a hospital with me,” said Tony.

“Good thing you don’t have to ask,” said Clint. “So, now that we’ve established that we are not breaking up as a unit – because that was a dumb idea and I really thought you were supposed to be a genius – I think we should decide how to best terrorize the nurses aids.”

“This is why you’re my favorite,” said Tony while Phil spluttered in the background.

“It’s going to work out,” said Clint softly.

Tony liked that phrasing – it’s going to work out – because it did not specify if working out meant Tony would get better or if working out meant that death would work out. And Tony hated it when people said, ‘It’s going to be okay’ because they had no way of knowing it would be okay. And it currently was not okay. It was pretty damn far from okay.

Four weeks later and still none of the other Avengers had caught on that Tony was sick. 

Tony stood in front of the mirror, razor in hand, staring at his reflection. He had already shaved off all his facial hair – that was the easy part. He had changed styles of facial hair many times so shaving it, while not enjoyable, wasn’t as huge of a step. His hair, however, that was another story.

“You don’t have to do this,” said Clint from his seat on the counter. “You can leave it alone and maybe it won’t all fall out.”

“I refuse to walk around with patches of hair missing,” said Tony, who had found the first clump of hair that morning when he was showering. “It’s all or nothing.”

“But it just started,” said Clint. “There’s no guarantee that it will continue.”

“I’m doing this,” snapped Tony, his voice hollow. “Cancer gets to dictate a lot right now but I refuse to let it have this too. I’m doing this on my terms. I have to.”

Clint nodded, hopped off the counter, and stood behind Tony. Gently, he guided his genius down to the stool that had become a permanent fixture in their bathroom since the nausea entered the day after Tony’s first experience with chemo. Without a word, Clint took the razor, turned it on, and started cutting away Tony’s shaggy locks. Tony said nothing but he was eternally grateful that Clint was taking this matter seriously. At the moment, Tony felt out of control, betrayed by his body, and this was a small way to reclaim it before cancer also took his hair as well.

“You are incredible,” said Clint when he was done, kissing Tony’s temple and catching the single tear the dared to escape Tony’s eye.

“I look stupid,” said Tony dully. “And my head is cold.”

Clint grinned evilly and plopped a bright purple Hawkeye beanie on the billionaires naked head. Tony groaned in response but was secretly pleased to no longer see the lights reflecting off his head – even if it was covered by his obnoxious lovers colors.

“Well, let’s get this over with,” said Tony, levering himself off of the stool and marching out of the room.

He knew that as soon as he entered the family dinner they had going each month there would be no more hiding his illness. He could just imagine the reactions now.

Natasha probably had an idea that something was wrong but not what exactly. She would be as unreadable as always but Clint had assured him that she would spend her entire evening vetting every person Tony would come into contact with in the process of healing. Her relationship with Tony had started out rocky but they had worked hard to overcome that. They had weekly Doctor Who viewings that the others were welcome to attend but everyone avoided because they only watched Doctor Who in German because they liked how angry everyone sounded.

Steve would turn into a huge mother hen – after lecturing Tony of an hour and twenty-nine minutes about the importance of sharing such information as soon as he had it. Then he would probably recruit JARVIS into helping him research all he could about cancer and what to expect. Yeah, Steve was going to be a nightmare.

Bruce would insist of having all of Tony’s medical files sent to him so he could look over them. Then he would want to talk to his doctors and attend appointments because while he wasn’t ‘that kind of doctor’, he was still most assuredly ‘that kind of doctor’. Tony knew, he had JARVIS tell him every time Bruce passed the tests to become a doctor. Tony had pulled strings to have Bruce bypass the traditional residency. So Bruce would want to get his hands on the medical side and quite frankly, that made Tony feel infinitely better. He was a genius but he didn’t speak doctor.

In just a few years Tony had gone from being able to count on one hand the number of people who cared that much about him and still have fingers left over to having to use both hands – though he still had fingers left over, both hands was an improvement.

“Steve had better not have eaten all the pizza,” said Tony as he entered the communal living room, Clint by his side.

Phil was waiting for them with two plates piled high with Tony and Clint’s favorite pizzas. The duo was a few minutes late and the Avengers were not known for their ability to be patient. No one had bothered waiting.

“Phil is my favorite,” declared Tony, throwing himself onto the seat next to the agent while the others in the room stared in silence at the billionaire in the purple hat.

“Um, Tony?” said Steve when no one else spoke up. “What happened to your hair?”

“What do you mean?” said Tony, cocking his head to the side in confusion.

“It’s…well, your hair is gone,” said Steve, not really sure what to say.

“What?!” yelled Tony, jumping up and tearing the hat off of his head. “Where did it go?”

Clint burst into giggles while Phil rolled his eyes and tugged on Tony’s long sleeve to pull him back into his seat.

“Tony,” reprimanded Phil fondly. “You’re going to give poor Steve a heart attack.”

“Sorry Cap,” said Tony with an unrepentant grin, placing the hat back on his head. “Hair loss is one of the side effects of chemo. Sometimes. In my case it is a thing.”

“You have cancer?” said Bruce. “What type?”

“Acute Myeloid Leukemia. I already had JARVIS send you everything before dinner. Now please, can we just pause the reactions until after dinner? After dinner I promise you can do the whole ‘reacting’ thing but right now I’m actually hungry so I’d like to take advantage of it by enjoying this pizza.”

Reluctantly, the others nodded, though Natasha and Clint had a silent conversation which had the red headed assassin swiftly leaving the table – probably to start her personal inspection of every person Tony had seen and might see in the future.  
Tony studiously stared at his pizza for the rest of dinner, ignoring the others and fidgeting his leg until Phil reached over and set his own hand on it reassuringly. Clint expertly steered the conversation away from Tony but there was an underlying lake of tension that wouldn’t evaporate no matter what. Eventually, they moved to the couches for the movie portion of the evening. Tony curled up between Clint and Phil – his usual spot.

In everything they did, Tony was in the middle. Clint, ever the paranoid assassin, always needed an exit, so he remained on the edge as much as possible. Phil, ever the handler, needed a way to reach out and prevent possible disaster or react to problems as they arose. Tony, ever the insecure genius, needed to be surrounded by people he trusted in order to relax. No one had ever questioned where they belonged in the relationship. Even before they had all gotten together, Tony had sat between the two boyfriends because they were his best friends and he was their best friend. Once Steve had pointed out that it was a bit strange and that Clint and Phil were kind to let Tony invade their personal space as well as couples time. Tony had practically shrunk down at that statement while Phil and Clint had both exploded in their own rights, telling Steve exactly why he was so wrong and then promptly reassuring Tony that not only did they enjoy spending time with him but they also wanted him to be with them romantically. 

It was Phil’s turn to pick the movie and he chose one everyone had seen a million times, one that always put Tony to sleep. The billionaire hadn’t been sleeping well over the last month, his mind having a hard time adjusting to all the chemicals being pumped into his body. Tony yawned almost as soon as the opening scene started. Clint grinned at Phil when he saw that and tucked a blanket around them, cuddling in close.

“We’re going to have to talk about this with everyone, you know that right?” whispered Phil over Tony’s head when the genius was firmly asleep.

“I know,” sighed Clint, closing his eyes, as though that would make the situation go away. “But that sounds like a problem for future us. Come on, Tony’s actually asleep and ate two whole slices of pizza. Let’s just call this a win today. We haven’t had many of those in the last month. Who knows when we’ll get another one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote another chapter. And at this time, no, I do not plan on actually having Tony die in this fic.
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


	3. Danger

Pepper had made an announcement about Tony’s condition at a press conference and while the immediate backlash was positive, that did not stop the media from camping outside of every cancer treatment facility in hopes of snatching some photos of the ailing billionaire. Tony had discovered that the hard way when Happy had pulled up for his next round of chemotherapy.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” groaned Tony, closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the seat of the car. 

This was the last thing he wanted. He felt awful, he was exhausted and hadn’t slept well the night before, and he was emotionally strung out. Seeing the cameras just waiting to document this low moment of his life had him fighting back tears – and Tony refused to cry for them. (He would do that later, in the privacy of his bedroom in his own Tower were no one would document it and share it with the world).

“Happy, pull around to the west side,” instructed Phil while Clint cuddled the genius close, all of them thankful of the nondescript car they were using with its highly tinted windows. “There is a side door there we can use this time. That will buy us enough time to sort this mess out.”

“Sorry,” said Tony softly. 

“This is in no way your fault,” said Phil firmly. “Pepper will have a field day when she finds out. I’m quite looking forward to her publically reprimanding those reporters for preventing you from receiving treatment. Something I will be joining her with from the SHIELD standpoint of them stalking a hero.”

The hard glint in the agents eyes was enough to make Tony almost feel sorry for the poor reporters who were just doing their job. Almost. But not enough to say anything. Besides, Rhodey was set to arrive in a few days and Tony knew it would be better for Pepper to handle the media before Rhodey got a hold of them. Rhodey had the tendency of becoming an overbearing *insert word* when the media messed with Tony when the billionaire did nothing to deserve it.

Once inside the building, the extra security that Natasha had organized made certain that Tony was left alone. It was a small mercy because almost as soon as he had started treatment, nausea hit full force, leaving him heaving into a basin the nurse had so helpfully provided. Phil supported him on one side while Clint kept an eye on the door to their private room – that was because Natasha insisted, knowing it was far easier to keep an eye on an enclosed environment than a larger area. 

“Man, I’m having flashbacks to your freshmen year of college,” said James Rhodes, walking into the room like he owned the place.

“Honey Bear!” croaked Tony, smiling weakly before doubling over the basin again, dry heaving.

Rhodey didn’t even hesitate before striding forward and running a hand soothingly over Tony’s smooth head, allowing the genius to rest his head against the airman’s stomach, breathing deeply.

“You’re early,” said Tony at last, not pushing away from the contact.

“Turns out Fury shows his concern by arranging time home for me,” said Rhodey quietly, gently easing his best friend back far enough for him to sit on the bed.

As soon as he sat down, Rhodey found himself with a lap full of lightly trembling genius. Phil and Clint both left the room, squashing down mildly jealous feelings when it was clear that Tony needed his best friend in that moment. At times it was difficult for the agent and archer to remember that Tony had this whole life before them and that the only one still standing with him from the majority of that life was James Rhodes. Because of that, there were times when Tony would seek comfort in his long time best friend, brother, and protector – not that Tony Stark needed protecting and he would fight anyone who suggested otherwise.

“I missed you too,” said Rhodey when he finally got Tony to relax back against the bed with him. “Now tell me everything, and keep in mind that I will be speaking to your boyfriends, so be honest.”

“I built a bunch of little robotic cleaning mice and set them loose in the air vents,” said Tony.

“Did you warn Clint?”

“What fun would that be?”

“How many got destroyed?”

“Seven. But I did plan for that and Clint does feel bad about destroying my tech. Phil made me apologize – which was dumb because Clint was clearly just playing it up for sympathy points.”

“And how’s the chemo going?” asked Rhodey, his tone turning serious. “I know you’ve been nauseous. Anything else?”

“The doctors said it’s working,” said Tony, avoiding admitting side effects to his best friend – if Rhodey knew how much the drugs wiped him out the man would insisted Tony stay in bed forever. “They caught it early, which is good. And I’m mostly finished building my own, better machine to scan for cancer. The current ones are shit.”

“Tony.”

“Okay, you’re right, they aren’t shit but they can be improved. I know Stark Industries has a medical line but I had always focused that on military needs. I think it’s time to broaden the horizons and look into other fields on top of military. I haven’t told Pepper yet but I’m sure she knows it’s coming since this is what I do; I selfishly work to improve only the things that personally impact me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” said Rhodey, his voice both pained and firm.

“Really?” snapped Tony, though there was little anger in his voice, just exhaustion. “I stopped making weapons because I got hurt by my own bombs. I started making clean energy because I had the source in my fucking chest. I expanded the medical line for the military because my best friend joined up. Now I want to improve the means of detecting cancer because I have it. Not a single one of those things happened because I just saw something in someone else’s life and thought, ‘Hey, I want to improve that.’”

“You stopped making weapons because the men who were protecting you during that demonstrations got killed,” said Rhodey softly. “You may have been injured but you did it because you realized other people were dying, something you previously didn’t know. If you had known that Stane was dealing under the table before you would have ended it much sooner. We both know that. You turned to clean energy because you spent three months in a cave and saw how people needed it. You expanded the medical line because you wanted to save people – not just me. If it was just about me you would have given me the best things you had then left everyone else to their own devices. And now you want to improve cancer screening and technology because you have been around people who need that. That’s not even touching all the mainstream improvements to technology that you have done. All those things may have come from you experiencing the need but never think you do it selfishly. The actual hours of work and trials and frustration come after. Those are the times most people would say that they tried to help but couldn’t and then give up because those situations no longer impact them on a daily basis. But you, you never give up because you aren’t doing it for yourself, you’re doing it for people you’re never going to meet but whose lives you are drastically going to improve.”

Tony didn’t know what to say to that, so he said nothing. Rhodey didn’t push and when Clint and Phil found their way back inside the room, Tony was asleep, his head pillowed on Rhodey’s chest.

“I can’t believe he’s sleeping,” whispered Clint, perching lightly on the end of the bed. “He never sleeps during treatment.”

“He didn’t sleep well last night,” Phil reminded him.

“Still, he never sleeps in the hospital. Rhodey is a wizard. Teach me your ways.”

The colonel chuckled and shook his head. In so many ways he could see why Tony would fall for someone like Clint and Phil. Clint was playful and Phil was understanding and both had the patience of train assassins who could sit for days waiting for the perfect shot. Tony always did fall for things that were dangerous for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I have the goal this week to update as many stories as I can. Now if you know me, this usually means I end up posting one or two new shorts as well because I like posting new things. This is your warning - sorry in advance for bombarding you all with things.
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


	4. Exhausted

“I hate this!” groaned Tony.

It was the first thing he had said in over an hour. For that entire hour, he had been laying on his back in the middle of the bed, staring at the ceiling of the bedroom. The Avengers had been called out on a minor mission and Rhodey had offered to go along so that Clint could stay home with Tony. The genius didn’t like being babysat – as he put it – but even he had to admit that he felt awful and needed someone to be there with him. And if it had to be anyone, he wanted it to be Clint or Phil. Or both. But he couldn’t have both.

“Which part in particular?” asked Clint sitting on the corner of the bed, trying to knit – Phil insisted it was calming or something – but really was just stabbing the yarn with the needles.

“All of it,” whined Tony. “But mainly how useless I am. I’m too tired to even work! Seriously, at this rate even Hammer is going to pass me in the market. My ego can’t take that blow, Clint, it just can’t.”

“You’re telling me that you don’t trust your hand selected R&D department to build designs you have already approved for the next three years?” said Clint with a small grin. “Tony, I know you. You have projects lined up for ever and you have smaller products you’ve already built and are ready to mass produce that you save for times like this, when you don’t have the time or energy to make something new.”

“But I like inventing.”

Clint had nothing to say. It hurt to see his usually so energetic best friend too tired to even make plans on his tablet but the most recent round of chemo had left the genius utterly exhausted. It was a struggle just to get to the bathroom and the only reason he was at home instead of the hospital was because Bruce and JARVIS monitored his vitals closely and sent all the important information to Tony’s team of doctors.

“Alright, we’re going outside,” announced Clint, throwing his knitting to the ground with a huff. “Phil is a dirty liar, knitting is stressful and impossible and I refuse to participate.”

Tony groaned but let Clint help him up and then lead him across the room, to the common area, and then to the balcony. The balcony was covered, protected from the harsh winds and sunlight, the air was filtered so pollution was not entering the area, but it was designed in such a way that they felt like they were truly outside. JARVIS could raise or lower the temperature or have it match the temperature outside, the windows would be screens, project images of other landscapes, or raise to truly expose them to the outside. Since Tony had gotten sick it was one of his favorite places to be because it was calming and the filtered air was better for him than actually being in the New York air.

Clint guided Tony onto one of the wide grey lounge chairs before covering him with a soft blanket and sitting next to him. They didn’t say anything, both staring at the view of New York, the buildings all twinkling in the setting sun.

“Do you think it’s always going to be like this?” asked Tony. 

“No.”

“I don’t mean the city, I mean us,” clarified Tony. “You and me and Phil. Do you think we’re always going to be together?”

“Why do you ask?” asked Clint, not taking his eyes away from the view as his mind rolled through what his lover could possibly be thinking about.

“Because relationships aren’t easy to begin with,” said Tony. “And ever since I started treatment, I haven’t been aroused or up for more than just making out. It’s been months and we haven’t been on a date. I’m always too tired and my blood count is too low or I’m at risk of catching something and have to be in a sterile environment. And even if we wanted to go on a date and I was feeling up to it, none of my nice clothes fit now because this stupid cancer is making me lose a weight and muscles and I look stupid and I’m bald, which is super unattractive, so I can see why we wouldn’t be having sex even if I was aroused and I just don’t see how we can survive this as a relationship.”

Clint said nothing for a few minutes, letting all of that sink in. Tony was tired, that much was clear, and the last several months had been busy, which hadn’t left much time for dating. The archer hadn’t put much thought into it, too focused on making sure his ailing partner was getting the best care and chance at survival as possible. It hadn’t occurred to him that Tony would want the sense of normalcy that going on dates would provide. Apparently Phil hadn’t thought of it either and it broke Clint’s heart to wonder how long Tony had felt like their relationship was going to fail because of his illness. Clint thought they had taken care of those worries that first chemo session, but clearly that wasn’t true.

“Babe, we all knew going into it that you’d probably not be interested in sex for a while,” said Clint when he had finally figured out what he wanted to say. “And yeah, that sucks because sex is something we all enjoy but it’s not the foundation of our relationship. We’ll get there again, I’m not worried about it and I don’t want you to be either. As for the rest of it, yeah, relationships are hard but I think we’re doing a pretty good job. I’m not unhappy being with you and Phil. I still wake up every morning excited because I get to spend another day with my two favorite humans. We’ll make it. I’m not giving up.”

Tony needed to know that Clint was not bailing. Even after years of being shown otherwise, Tony still had the deep seeded fear that he was going to be abandoned and while he would never admit it aloud, he needed to hear those words every once in a while, in different variations, that meant that he wasn’t on his own and that the people he cared most about weren’t about to let him be on his own any time soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Real life has this thing where it gets in the way sometimes.
> 
> Always,  
> Ari

**Author's Note:**

> Much less fluff than the last story, you're welcome.
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


End file.
